23 | Precipice | End

Sato sat stretched out squarely in the center of the bed, appreciating how much more space he had from the bed he’d been sleeping on for most of the past week.  Even with a contented cat giving itself a bath at his feet, there was plenty of room.

Had there been anything worth watching, he’d be watching television.  If the slightest concept of a view could be seen from any window in the apartment, he would’ve opened the curtains and be admiring the cityscape.  The problem with living in a complex was that the only view was of his neighbors’ back patios and if he could peek into their lives, they could peek into his.  Sitting in nothing but his boxers, a beer slowly warming where it sat on the bed braced between his legs, he didn’t really want to be on display.

22 | Precipice

He was hardly dressed for a summer walk, Sato reflected, feeling the sweat tickle down his sides, but he’d needed to get away — get away before he did real damage either to his relationship with Paula or her.  Stopping at the first fast food joint he came upon, he ordered a large drink and took it to the park to sit and think.

It wasn’t that he was prone to be an abusive man.  If provoked, he might slap someone, but the idea that he would actually beat someone up, truly hurt them, was not within the realm of possibility.  He’d throttled Ken often enough as they were growing up, joking even now that they were men about how he should’ve done more while he had the chance.  Mary had received her share of pushes and shoves, too, but all of it had been benign and a response to irritation.  Entertaining the wish that he could wrap his fingers around Paula’s throat right now and shake her senseless was just that — a scenario played out in his head that brought a certain degree of release of the frustration.

21 | Precipice

Was this what a condemned man felt at the start on the path to his execution?

Sato stood where the shuttle that Paula had ordered for him had deposited him and looked down the length of the sidewalk.  He’d walked that cement path probably a million times, come home from trips out of town innumerable times without thinking any differently about it, and never once feared setting his foot upon it.

It was stupid to be afraid of what he’d long thought inevitable, but it was such a big thing to be finally making it a reality.  Or hoping to, he reminded himself.

20 | Precipice

He had turned the page and just focused his eyes on the words of the next chapter of his book when the door to his room began to open slowly.  In the deep quiet of an early Sunday morning, so slight a sound as the turning of a doorknob was noticeable.  Sato lifted his gaze, not surprised when his mother’s head came around the edge of the door.

“Not disturbing you?” she asked, a little disappointed to find her son already awake.  She knew she shouldn’t be walking in on him, that the time when it was acceptable was very long past, but she’d never been able to resist the opportunity to sit nearby while he slept and remember.  One day he would marry, putting a real end to this kind of maternal indulgence.

19 | Precipice

Hands gently grazed him on either arm and slid up to rest on shoulders, thumbs lightly digging into the tense muscle below.  His back to the door, Sato didn’t notice his sister come into the kitchen and stand behind him until he felt her touch.

“I’m sorry we kind of ganged up on you out there,” she apologized.  “Part of it is just being tired of Dad griping about you even when you’re not around, like we could make some miracle happen.  The rest of it… we’re only worried about you.”